Wednesday, April 29, 2009

yesterday

im blogin bout yesterday instead of today....if u noticed.
coz today,theres nothin really much to say.

hmm...
yesterday...to make you understand the situation .. ill put it like this.

in the minds annoying dumb brainless probates-hmm...ugly sarawakian boy walkin up the path goin this way.hmm....the teacher said the prefects are runnin low on cash.muahaha.lets stop this dumb freak.just for the fun of it.and charge him 2 freaking bucks.

the mind of newton-oh mann...those probates never change.everyday.always stop me.haha lucky my socks are freakin high..my pants are high oso.so there should be no prob.

and guess what..

yes.they stopped me.liike normal.its like routine for them.they ask me to pull up.yes.yes,they oso asked to check my socks.they were like.....'oh excuse me,can i check ur socks?' and they were saying it in unison a.k.a. chorul speaking style.in that case,y say 'can 'I' check ur socks?' ?? y not 'can 'WE' check ur socks'?? and when u say 'escuse me'....y not excuse US??
and when u say that....can i say ' NO.and shut ur freakin mouth. '' ??
losers.lolz.

and u know bout pn santhi.but im soo lazy to type.and there is nothin to type bout her.coz she is not important enough to blog bout.and what does shine stand for?weird.she doesnt even shine.

haha.

Saturday, April 25, 2009

more jokes.....

halo!!!

read....

Love: Before and After
BEFORE - You take my breath away.
AFTER - I feel like I'm suffocating.


BEFORE - She says she loves the way I take control of a situation.
AFTER - She called me a controlling, manipulative egomaniac.


BEFORE - Saturday Night Fever
AFTER - Monday Night Football


BEFORE - Don't stop.
AFTER - Don't start.


BEFORE - Is that all you're having?
AFTER - Maybe you should have just a salad, Honey.


BEFORE - $60/doz.
AFTER - $1.50/stem


BEFORE - We agree on everything.
AFTER - Doesn't she have a mind of her own?


BEFORE - Victoria's Secret
AFTER - Fruit-of-the-Loom


BEFORE - Charming and Noble
AFTER - Chernobyl


BEFORE - Idol
AFTER - Idle


BEFORE - I love a woman with curves.
AFTER - I never said you were fat.


BEFORE - He's completely lost without me.
AFTER - Why won't he ever ask for directions?


BEFORE - Time stood still.
AFTER - This relationship is going nowhere.


BEFORE - Croissant and cappuccino
AFTER - Bagel and instant


BEFORE - You look so seductive in black.
AFTER - Your clothes are so depressing.


BEFORE - Oysters
AFTER - Fishsticks


BEFORE - I can hardly believe we found each other.
AFTER - I can't believe I ended up with someone like you.


BEFORE - Passion
AFTER - Ration


BEFORE - Once upon a time
AFTER - The end



...


The CIA had an opening for an assassin. After all the background checks, interviews and testing were done there were three finalists: two men and a woman.
For the final test, the CIA agents took one of the men to a large metal door and handed him a .45 revolver. "We must know that you will follow your instructions, no matter what the circumstances. Inside this room, you will find your wife sitting in a chair. Kill her!"
The man said, "You can't be serious. I could never shoot my wife." The agent said, "Then you're not the right man for this job."
The second man was given the same instructions. He took the gun and went into the room. All was quiet for about five minutes. Then the man came out with tears in his eyes. "I tried, but I can't kill my wife," the man said. "You don't have what it takes. Take your wife and go home."
Finally, it was the woman's turn. She was given the same instructions to kill her husband. She took the gun and went into the room. Six shots were heard, one shot after another. The agents heard screaming, crashing and banging on the walls. After a few minutes, all was quiet. The door opened slowly and there stood the woman. She wiped the sweat from her brow, and said, "This gun is loaded with blanks. I had to beat him to death with the chair."


lols!

Generous lawyer A local United Way office realized that the organization had never received a donation from the town's most successful lawyer. The person in charge of contributions called him to persuade him to contribute."Our research shows that out of a yearly income of at least $500,000, you give not a penny to charity. Wouldn't you like to give back to the community in some way?"The lawyer mulled this over for a moment and replied, "First, did your research also show that my mother is dying after a long illness, and has medical bills that are several times her annual income?"Embarrassed, the United Way rep mumbled, "Um ... no."The lawyer interrupts, "or that my brother, a disabled veteran, is blind and confined to a wheelchair?"The stricken United Way rep began to stammer out an apology, but was interrupted again."or that my sister's husband died in a traffic accident," the lawyer's voice rising in indignation, "leaving her penniless with three children?!"The humiliated United Way rep, completely beaten, said simply, "I had no idea..."On a roll, the lawyer cut him off once again, "So if I don't give any money to them, why should I give any to you?"



ready for the ultimate?well not really ultimate..


From A Mother With Love Dear Child,I am writing this slow because I know that you can't read fast. We don't live where we did when you left home. Your dad read in the paper that most accidents happen within 20 miles from your home so we moved. I won't be able to send you the address, as the last family that lived here took the house numbers when they left so that they wouldn't have to change their address. This place is real nice. It even has a washing machine. I'm not sure if it works too well though. Last week I put a load in, pulled the chain, and haven't seen them since.The weather isn't too bad here., it only rained twice last week, The first time it rained for three days and the second time for four days. The coat you wanted me to send you, your Uncle Steve said it would be a little too heavy to send in the mail with the buttons on, so we cut them off and put them in the pockets. We got another bill from the funeral home. They said if we don't make the last payment on Grandma's grave, up she comes. John locked his keys in the car yesterday. We were worried because it took him two hours to get me and Shelby out. Your sister had a baby this morning but I haven't found out what it is yet, so I don't know if you're an aunt or an uncle. If the baby is a girl, your sister is going to name it after me, she's going to call it Mom.Uncle Pete fell in a whiskey vat last week. Some man tried to pull him out but he fought them off and drowned. We had him cremated and he burned for three days. Three of your friends went off a bridge in a pick-up truck. Ralph was driving. He rolled down the window and swam to safety. Your two friends were in the back. They drowned because they couldn't get the tailgate down. There isn't much more news at this time. Nothing much has happened.

PS, I was going to send you some money but the envelope was already sealed.

xD....

tee hee!

Wednesday, April 22, 2009

somemore jokes

haha.hve fun!!

A little boy stops in front of a church with his bike and he sees the priest come out. The priest says "Come inside, I want to show you something". The little boy says to the priest, "But somebody will steal my bike". The priest says to him "Don't worry, the Holy Spirit will watch it".
So the little boy goes inside and the priest says, "Let me show you how to do the sign of the cross. In the name of the Father, the Son and the Holy Spirit, Amen. Now you try it". So the boy says, "In the name of the Father and the Son, Amen". The priest says, "What happened to the Holy Spirit?" The boy replied "He's outside, watching my bike".


xD

Once upon a time there was a pastor. He was driving down the road and his car broke down. He got out and started walking. Soon, he came to a farm. He asked the farmer if he could borrow a horse. The farmer agreed, but warned: "Sir, this is no ordinary horse. You have to say "praise the Lord" to make it go, and "Amen" to make it stop". The pastor said "Oh, that's easy, I'm a pastor. So he jumped on the horse and said "Praise the Lord!" and the horse took off down the road. About an hour down the road (close to his destination), a rattlesnake came out in front of the horse, and the horse, rather startled turned and ran off the road, through the woods, straight for a cliff. The pastor forgot what to say, so he said a prayer, and at the end of the prayer, of course, he said "Amen". Screech!! The horse stopped right at the edge of the cliff! The pastor looked down and sees all of the thousands of feet down that he had almost plundered... and to give thanks to God, he yelled out "Praise the Lord!!!!"

haha......

0 to 200 in 6 seconds Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife wasreally pissed.She told him "Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in thedriveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!"The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife wokeup, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a boxgift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, broughtthe box back in the house.She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.Bob has been missing since Friday.

lolx!!

haha.okay.nxt time.

oh yeah.vivek is angry i didnt give him enough credits.so........

CREDITS TO THE GREAT VIVEK!!!!!!

happy??

Monday, April 20, 2009

Sir Isaac Newton..

haha.found this at 'uncyclopedia'.from yujing.

Early Life
Newton was born prematurely in a large manor in Lincolnshire into a wealthy family and thus led a comfortable, sheltered childhood. However, one particularly frightening incident from his childhood had a profound impact on Newton's life and work.
One day, when Newton was around eight years old, he went walking in the “commoners market” (as he later called it). While walking, (pretentiously, as was his habit) he was set upon and chased by the town rapist/president. When Newton and the rapist ran under a nearby apple tree an apple fell from the tree, striking the man on the head and knocking him unconscious.
Newton felt enormous gratitude towards this inanimate piece of fruit, and brought it home with him, where he christened it Cornelius Appleby, after a popular pig smuggler. The apple soon became young Isaac's best (and only) friend.


got more.later.
haha.

oh!its been one month sisnce i started.lol...

Sunday, April 19, 2009

18/4??

If a piano player is called a pianist, then why isn’t a race car driver called a racist?haha.im not racist.
seriously.I HAVE COLOURED TV!!
i have those kind of jokes.they are bad.real bad.
nvm.

read this.
This is a story about four people: Everybody, Somebody, Anybody, and Nobody. There was this important job to be done and everybody was asked to do it. Everybody was sure that somebody would do it.
Anybody could have done it, but nobody did it. Somebody got angry about that because it was everybody's job. Everybody thought that anybody could do it, but nobody realized that everybody wouldn't do it.
It ended up that everybody blamed somebody when actually nobody asked anybody.
lol!

how bout this?
A man is driving his five year old to a friend’s house when another car races in front and cuts them off, nearly causing an accident. “Douchebag!” the father yells. A moment later he realizes the indiscretion, pulls over, and turns to face his son. “Your father just said a bad word,” he says. “I was angry at that driver, but that was no excuse for what I said. It was wrong. But just because I said it, it doesn’t make it right, and I don’t ever want to hear you saying it. Is that clear?” His son looks at him and says: “Too late, douchebag.”
hahahaha!!

erm this?
Why can't a chicken coop have more than 2 doors?Because if it had 4 doors it would be a chicken sedan.
lols....

haha.other jokes 4 nxt time.

oh and i dislocated my right pinky finger.got hit by a ball.the two upper parts of my finger went backwards.now its bruised like mad.haha.cant paly piano.T_T.(in my heart...YES!!!)
jkg,jkg.




jokes from vivek.not made by him.he just found it.so dont thank him too much.:)

Monday, April 13, 2009

random...the 1st

the first random thought i had.
i was like'wht to blog??'
then i just randomly picked this topic.

u know those pilotG-1,G-2,G-3,G-4,G-5,G-6,G-7,G-8,G-9.......i think im too far.
okay.suppose ur in class.minding ur own buisness.doing......idk.anyhting.
then this guy,or girl.comes to ur desk.then it just so happens that ur favourite and only G-2 blue pen is not in ur pencilbox.its inches away from the edge.then it just so happens,that at that moment,some LOA freak sprays the floor with her LOA nike spray bottle.then it just so happens that the guy,giirl slips and knocks ur table and ur G-2 blue pen drops.then u go mad.cos u tried ur pen and its clogged.
instead of blue liquid ink,u get blue concrete.u might as well throw it away cos u have to use it b4 its okay.u have to do that 4 very long b4 the clogged part is done.thats what happens if ur lucky.if not ,BUY A NEW ONE.waste of money.its not like u have to use it.its not like people will be like,'whoa!! hes using a pilot G series!!'...lols.

so nea=xt time,use the ball point.haha.

Sunday, April 12, 2009

okay...easter.lols.

haha.got football.against dj.
lols.the are quite good.went home early.
T_T.still won 3-1.

okay....
i know im lame.cos i got no stuff to say ya'll.
get it?im sayin u know,u know,i got no
money u got no stuff.we aint got no thing goin on here.
so its gonna be like boring all here.u feel me?
unless.......u give me a topic.dont say i didnt warn ya'all!!
we cool??

lols.random stuff.


Thursday, April 9, 2009

Tuesday, April 7, 2009

7/4 ...

haha.hello again.few days havent post anything.
nvm.lol.ok.well,

today got violin class.nothing to blog bout.haha.
went to school.matthew and wen yang @ tennis.
dunno their result.

its okay if their gone.but wen yang,u abandoned us!!
me and jia hwang were like...'where is he?we cannot abort operation MM'
(while laughing madly)hahaha.

went to class.had bm oral.did my best,i think.
then during art....hahaha.i cant elaborate anymare.
for my own safety i cant.

oh,and me and gab were trying to act with slow reaction.
like he scare me.then 5 secs only i react.haha.laugh until stomach pain.

then went 4 taboo.lost badly.with gab.
haha.

the war is over!!!!
peace to all men.
verbal missiles are halted.
bullets of anger are stopped.
peace......

haha

...

nothin to say.

ok

mayb a joke.
ok.this guy on a train is reading the facts of the lives of people.
he turns to a friend and says,'u know,everytime i breath,someone dies.'
then the freind says to him,'have u ever tried mouthwash?'...

haha.lame joke.

bb,people.

Friday, April 3, 2009

3rd april.

what to say....

today.......nothin really happened.
juz during the chinese peroid and moral period,
'x'came and,i think,disturbed 'y'.then 'y' got sooo
pissed and they started to fight.this is what i heard and saw....

(x disturbs y by,i think,hitting him.)
(y hits back with his hand)
x:warh!jus come in class oso want to fight!
y:who ask u to start?
(x gets so pissed then hits y back hard)
(y gets even more pissed then i think,hits x in the balls!!)
then they exchange words.
lols.then 'z' gets invoved somehow.
and he gets kicked 4 that.ouch!!

...

najib is pm.dunno what to say.lols?

...

nothin much lar...

bb.

Thursday, April 2, 2009

2nd april..

hahahahaha...

lolx.nvm.
chorul speakers got 3rd.awh..pity.
got try.at least.

did experiment for science.i had to
spit saliva 4 the experiment.haizz..
in the end didnt work.my fault.
i think.

bm was sooooo funny.
laughed like mad.non stop.
little things like fake coughs was
so funny.dunno why.like we were high.

and vivek,ITS ALL YUJING!!!
DUN BLAME ME.IM NOT BEIN
RACISCT!!!

came back.nothin.

oh.

to 'xxx':get over it.(this is not a girl)
to 'yyy':taste ur own poison!!(this is not a girl either)

lol.nvm.

haha.still cant stop laughing.
*COUGH COUGH*
hahahahaha!!

bb.

hahaha.